Life has many twists and turns.
Usually caused by love.

Loss of love.
Unshared love.
Loss of loved ones.
Lack of love.
Growth of love.
Death of love.
Love of money.
Love of self.
Love of others.
Love of another.
Love without return.

And right now, I think I'm suffering from multiple ones of these, most specifically, love without return. And also on another plane, not returning love.

And it's really messing with me.

I knew it all along, but when the truth hits you hard, it sucker punches you in the stomach.

- Jeremy.

Timber....

When everything is the way we think it should be (or thought it should be)... we sometimes end up back where we started, lost. That would be me. I found something I wanted, just in time to leave it.

Life is a puzzle. God gives us the pieces, and he knows what it is supposed to look like, but he won't let us see the cover of the box. So it is up to us to put it together the right way, following God's will (which would be the correct way to put the puzzle together). I don't know how correctly I'm putting this puzzle together, but I'm trying. Steve asked me if I wanted to be a leader for CA, and I told him I would consider it, praying and thinking about it over break. That would be a big thing for me, and there may be some things I would need to give up in order to do that. That's probably why God posed me with this crossroads, so that I could make the right choice. Another piece in the puzzle. It has been so awesome to be involved in worship at CA. I'm glad to be coming back to TCA to not only share in chapel, but also to lead worship sometime.

How life can change. So quickly. I remember, just about a month ago, sitting down outside. It was a pretty warm night, and had rained that morning. The sky was deep, but bright, red with swirls of blueish purple. It was so beautiful. And then the wind started blowing really hard! It was like the sky was a mood ring, I actually wrote that in a song, but I'm not sure how that fits into the song, and I'm not sure if I really like that song anyway. So I was sitting there, going through inner turmoil, knowing that my life was missing something. I didn't know what it was. It hurt though. So for the next few weeks, I tried to trace down this feeling, figuring out what was going on. I'm pretty sure it was loneliness. Not as in, I had no friends, but as in, I had no one really close to me. It had been like that  at TCA too. There was no one like that, there had been no one in my life like that, for years.

But everything has changed now.

I kept on keeping on and now I'm somewhere new.

Jeremy

I have found, that when I am going through something that is bothering me, whether bothering me in a good or bad way, I do something. I purchase music. Now, I purchase music a lot, but usually only when it is on sale. (I advise you to check out Amazon.com for their daily music deals!!!) But I've realized that I'll buy something that is not on sale, and usually only when something is going on in my life!

Yep.

So, I've got a 10 page paper due monday, and i'm working on my second page now. Oh life. lol.

So anyway....... As i get closer to the end of the semester (i go home wednesday), I realize that friendships don't develop until the end of the semester. Which really really sucks as you have limited communication with them for about a month, and you probably won't see them for a month.

Yeah... life....

So, Shoshana... that's a new name. : )

We'll talk about her some other time... she's got friends visiting her this weekend, so I probably won't be seeing much of her until monday night. I can't wait lol. Monday my paper will be done no matter what, and I will be able to see Sho, and I will only have to study! I wish i didnt have papers and could just study. I would love to just have to study!!! : )!!!!